I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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