Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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