when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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