are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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