My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
