I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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