i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
