he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
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