my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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