Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Randomize
