Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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