dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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