Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
