Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
