Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
