she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
