My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
