At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I think people are normalizing furries
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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