While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Damn victory sex feels great
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
