She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
May the power of my ass compel you!!
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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