I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
