Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize
