I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
