I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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