i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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