It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Randomize
