idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
