the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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