my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
