porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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