It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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