she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
