Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
