M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
