Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
