my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
