So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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