you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
