Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
