Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Randomize
