Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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