that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
