Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
the day after is always just damage control
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
