This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
