K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
