Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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