are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
