Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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