I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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