Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
