Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
